Random and Exotic Sleep

Remember one time I was sitting in a bar in La Ronge; the day was horrible and my sleep was not sleep it was drunken snoring. I remember trying to get the booze off my self by showing for a long time with cleansing stuff. I smelled good for a bit. The hotel was not very expensive unlike Saskatoon it was close to 20 a night with in the end is like my apartment at the moment minus the cleaning and changing of sheets by “house-keeping!”. I also got cable tv and a nice scenery of the lake and boat trips with some local who are from my reserve. I got to eat wild meat. I was drunk most of the time and I was fine with that at that time. I had a huge backpack of my clothes and stuff I needed. A couple of books I really lost myself in with quotes like: “Above all, don’t lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov.

I cannot lie and say I did not have trouble with alcohol abuse/overuse. It was needed to deal with this pain of life that I was so inclined to take personally. I had to hide and be pitied. I had one day just tired and had slept ok the night before and got a bus ticket and from that moment on, I don’t recall until the tuesday afternoon. I had woken up in a hotel in St.Paul, yes the very same.  I had nothing else to say about that.

I went to Canada after a few days of looking at people in the streets and bands singing. There was plenty of fun to be had. I met some nice people who I still speak to and they send me CD’s of their stuff.  So I did a similar thing once. I had taken a plane to a small island and stayed for 600 a month. I really liked the exchange rate.  There was actualy nothing to do there. It was really warm. I ate spicy foods.

I have only done that one since. I went to Regina on a whim. But to visit a good friend.

Anyways, I think the whole tar sand this is fucked up and will fuck up a lot of peoples lives. Simple. They really don’t need that much money there arent things that expensive. Perhaps something useless as a mobile devises of the early 2010′s.  We thought the internet was bringing people closer, perhaps but only are a badly written text message.  What I am saying is stay in school.

I am just rambling on about nothing so its just meaningless trite. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius…I had to say that as I noticed that book in the library and began reading it rather than trying to understand what the hell, , means. is the h and exponent or a name? I think u is in the 3-sphere. I wish this guy had been more clearer in the writing. The books I looked into and other papers seems to just repeat this shit. also h and j are integers with little constraint. It is constrained by something that I don’t know of but I know a paper where they mention it. Something to do with mod 8 or exactly as and h+j=1. There might be a squared in there. You see this is how my brain does it. I think about the thing and eventually the thing comes back. It is quite beautiful and amazes me. I read it and some times I am not even aware that I read it and I think about it is a drawer in my brain. A drawer is a image I used to store things facts and stories much like a person with good memory does it. Eidetic memory persons use this technique all the time. This is also how stores do it. Instead of just a pile on the floor. Makes sense?

ok bye.

Filed under: Fiction, insomnia, Memory loss, Quantum Field Theory, Story