matthew broderick. bottom line. good movie.
My friend was lucid today and she saved me, I think she noticed me in pain when I seen her and allowed to leave and hang out. yay.
There’s no swimming past the drop off
Or feeling sorry for yourself
You don’t go swimming past the drop off
Or else
Ok Losing at life is nto to be so bad. Being a loser and failure was my goal and through out my pathetic existence people told me things, lies, that I was good at somethings. How can people just lie to my face like that? That i mean. If I want to hurt someone really bad is tell them they are good at something and watch them fail at it. muahahaha!
I will not try to solve the exotic sphere problem within M-theory with as much enthusiasimsmsms. Ill just stare at walls. The catatonia. Here is the person I was to take photos of yesterday:
this is a man who has given up hope and will to live. I will continue to write for something to do but do NOT expect awesome literary work.Just crap about all the horrible things to come/ I expect to be evicted by my landlord. I expect to be attacked at night by the city police and/or gangs. I expect robbery of my computer. I expect not to land a job and work. I expect to be so fed up I take too much pills. I expect very little sleep. I expect nightmares. I expect hallucinations and shocked at the hospital again. I expect to be sitting alone at a coffee place. I expect to eat at friendship inn from now on. I expect no one to show find me and see how I am doing. I expect constantly to be arrested for something and for no reason. I expect this macbook to fail. I expect people to pretend that they care, if they did they would provide me a easy way out. I expect to be this suicidal for ever. I expect to be non productive again. I expect the voices telling to destroy myself will never end. I expect now to be in hospital and drugged up and look rough like a drunk. I expect the worst to happen.
still no improvement. Here is my plan for today.
as a joke she called and I hung out with her to save my suicidal. 
Never go past the dropoff.
The fates are amok and spun
Measured and cut
And the past is meant to please us
You’re a comet from earth
In a Kiss Alive shirt
Saying, “Holy fuck, it’s Jesus”
The surface is green
And the dark interweaves
In a lonely iridescence
It’s terribly deep
And the cold is complete
And it only lacks a presence
And nothing else
Filed under: Depression catatonia, insomnia, Memory loss, Photography, Poetry, Quantum Field Theory, Suicide
