I sit in the well lit Cafe Noir
sexy legs right in front of me as is they are saying look at these-get-away-sticks. I like making eye contact with total strangers in this city it turns out they know who I am. First Name bases with this person who I find very little interest for nothing but a totally mutually assured destruction… I had to reference the bomb.
As you can tell i prefer the company of intellectuals of any kind someone in the open mode. However, these are typically drunk. To be in the open mode you need to be drunk or not. You can just set a time of day to do your thinking and whatever. I take two hours a day to work on writing a story with many themes that gets nowhere, the Mody Dick awaiting the sharks as in the Old Man and the Sea. You see when writing everyone is a writer too and they want you to fit the story in their comfort zone. There are many if not all good writers who can allow themselves such luxury as it is not in their comfort zone. So they write about drinking or something they know very little about which is writing a book. The struggles they have about writing. This is what writers know. Unless you are a non-writer wanting to write the great books of all, The Quantum Theory of Fields. 100more pages for tonight. I have done did it. I read Weinberg in a week room to spare. I appreciate this book a lot more now and all his books.
I suppose back to the heterotic string theory and homotopy spheres….means very nice maths.
I remember her now…
From my drinking days/daze:
Drinking all night
Got into a fight
Well I feel so broke up
I want to go home. Why don’t you leave me alone, yeah yeah.
My headache is so headachy. Remember that not drinking does not make life better, in fact the opposite but your motivation to get the next drink is gone most of the time. The motivation is carrying a bag of empties to the recycling sarcan to get that ten dollars to take to the off sale across the street to get that high alcohol two litre bottle of beer. The price is right and chemical is right and taste like fart and horse piss. As beer goes. I remember her blonde hair in her apartment with her nightly alcohol abuse. I was walking around with a camera in the alley as these are more interesting places to have a camera in. She is sitting there having a smoke and a drink. I asked her if I could take a pic. She said yes. I did and it was nice. The rains came. I was a little more than drinking at this time it was 11am. Anyways, we had made a pact not to see each other again. She just told me this. Good work on both of us. She has overcome her reason to drink too…perhaps genetics but mostly the choice has gone. I told her that long ago too. This day is a reminder from the gods which don’t exist that there are favourable events in life if one looks hard enough and things can be done. Most importantly I have done the improbable. I finished Weinberg Supersymmetry!!! (Applause). Superstar.
Here is the pic after some search in the folders. I think this was not that day. It was a couple days later.
Filed under: alcoholism, Memory loss, Novel, Nuclear Waste, Photography, Quantum Field Theory, Sexy Friend 
