A book about Physics/Native relations

I had a talk to my thesis adviser from usask and he is not concerned I spend my days thinking about big problems in physics. I guess if my brain is curios about this then i might as well keep that lump of fat/neurons full of dopamine.

If I wanted money i would haev taken the job in California. I hated that job in ottawa. Fuck why can’t i tell people that. It was horrible and it felt like a trapped animal in a zoo. Fight or Flight….I fought then flought. Or something like that. I was stuck in ottawa and could only think of one way out…after I told people I hated the work. I hated having to be there in the early morning and exhausted and therefore couldn’t work. I assume work means work not when you work. It was not menial work. I had to write and think about ways to find a pattern in huge data using  C++ or something. A pattern can be thought of as a similar number for each set of data, for example sum within a week equalling a standard deviation from 10000$(CAD). I think this is the first time i wrote about this crap. I was told not to talk about it. You know crap about top secret. Hindsight said people are wrong. I knew what I was doing. I had to fight back as evolution has DNA’d me.

I wanted to get back to saskatoon at that point. I told my intentions however it was not feasible until i leave by myself. Anyways…back to trying to compute this homology group for spheres..very tough thing to do alone. no photos today.

update: just when i thought i was gonna be sick and shit. I am approached by a student from university here with what I gathered from my superior knowledge of aboriginal crees. I wonder what it i that made me know she was cree? The whole cree/dene wars of the past? you know a predator when you see one. Just kidding Sarah.

She said she seen me on tv they showed for psychology class last month. I only thought one person on campus seen this. I have a little gig in tutoring her next year in january.

tonight i shall not sleep, i shall stay up since my brain is not falling asleep at all until around 6-7 am then up again due to guilt feeling of not making it to the job i don’t have or will ever get. My job right now is to finish this crap about exotic spheres and M-theory.