F yez all, F yez all, F yez all, ich werde native.

The person in the streets talking very loudly to himself is just using a bluetooth on his phone and talking to his imaginary friend, Jane. A crushed up man trying to find a read to live. Then the coppers came and crucified him in court and he just said f yous all. Meets a girl in courthouse lobby and they go to drink whiskey in the usualy spot by the train tracks where the place is secret. They finish the bottle before closing of liquor store at 9pm this time a little darker and Indian Ernie is waiting. He is always waiting.  Inconspicuous he stood among other indian at liquor store closing time line up. Always a backpack. Indian Ernie would insult him for being drunk and never for my education. To cops i look like a drunk, I mean indian. This is how people see indians, all indians are drunks. Just as all  people were drunks in the past states. It is the same but to my mind I change it but everytime I walk and see facebook pics it is drunk white chicks with daddy issues. The best kind I suppose.What was I talking about. Racism is saskatoon. If you don’t believe me try being a native person in saskatoon and have a seizure. It is funny you are shaking and eyes rolled back on the cold frozen side walk and people walk back perhaps thinking you are dancing. It is funny. The indian is gonna die. Try renting a place, enough said. I do enjoy the racist sex drive of some woman trying to get their parents angry with her by dating a indian man. There is some good in racism. The point is if you want to be diagnosed with bipolar or anything mental then don’t do it in saskatoon.  Please focus on the fact that in grad school first three years I didn’t drink alcohol even though almost everyone asked me to join them. The writing of the thesis was boring so I started at that time. Then this last year I stopped again, 329 days. Now I took my credit card to the store to get gummi bears:

I almost drank again but i was not too addicted anymore. Oh well. Most people with bipolar had a co-morbid addiction to something.  There is the brain going so fast it is scary to other people especially if it is about science and maths.  I don’t know if this is true but it feels true. I am so far outside the box that people who think outside the box are afraid of my cool and sexy math. Remember also getting this much math knowledge is not done by magic unless you think spending most of the time thinking and reasoning math proof and such magic. The magic of working hard is the secret. If you want to be good at anything you must spend time on it.

I had this picture before and she called them assholes. This was in the late 2001, i think.

oh yeah the pool ball and bar with someone disgustingly younger than me adn my love of Nobikov. Fuck that! I really do enjoy her being a mathematics major like myself so I can talk about characteristic classes to someone who can actually compute them. Amazing eh? She is not very good at pool though.

Speaking of this kind of thing. I was 22 when I met Jane. A couple of months before her death we went to the bar for coffee. She ordered some kind of alcoholic drink like rum and coke or perhaps girly drink. The waitress asked her for her ID. She is 42kg and 150cm tall. I am 183cm. She looked younger to some but I knew she was 21. I was to meet her every year on september 25 at noon by the bus. But it was not to be. Anyways the waitress had to take the drink away from her so we instead went to a pink restaurant and it was ok there. What is the point, well this is called thinking and writing adn see what comes out and you learn to write like this. To write you must write almost anything in a good way, eloquence is the word writers like to be used to describe their work even though it is shite. I really do wish I had a picture of Jane without me in it, you see my hair is prettier than hers!

ok I took a picture of this a while back before giving it away:

I think i had this one before. Notice the damage from water during my bad luck apartment flood. I should have gotten a clue from when I moved in that the wobbly toilet is a bad sign, not to mention the bats and rodents.

with a better scan of the picture:

Well this is enough time wasted on a sunday afternoon. It does take a while after waking up to go fron suicidal depression to full blown ability to computer topological invariants for M-theory boundary corrections to Bianchi Identities. yay.

The worstest thing about the internet is there is no one to communicate with, absolutely no one. I got an email today and it was from a porn site, which is the reason the internet is still around. My skype is useless now. Uninstall it I suppose. My phone never rings or vibrates. Modern technology is opposite of healthy human society. Must be why I like it; I am a fucked up person who attempted suicide because people are disgusting and makes me sad. Remember being nice is a symptom of mental illness.

gather round story time from the scifi world of literature. I took a scifi course for english degree last year. I kind of dropped out because I already have two degrees in science. I thought science fiction would be more better for society because of god. The prof started talking about people who can’t feel pain. One other sexy student who is in medical school and needs this course for graduation and get paid to save lives. She said, “it is called congenital analgesia” Yeah I said “I seen that episode of House, Insensitive, Hannah Morgenthal. That’s a Jew name.”  I got a couple laughs and claps as before.