Bipolar Disorder, Drunkenness and a Masters Degree in physics

I was told I was in a state of extreme drunk for 11 years from 2002 until 2012. I also obtained a masters degree and in bad manic episodes and suicidal depression. I had to work harder on those quantum field theory homework and understanding a wee bit more. Typically I was exhausted and I continued to work. Sitting in crazy house i read the books to try to understand but the important thing was to be able to do the calculations right. All day long I was sitting there scribbling in note books over and over again trying to do the homework. I get the right answer but was not satisfied. I would be locked in so professors would have to bring books and notes. Some days I didn’t work on it. I watched hockey.  Then after i finished my degree i needed to repair my depression which did not respond to medications. I opted to have Electroshock treatment. 18 shocks in two months. First was the tests to make sure my heart was in the right place. It was. The night before I had to prepared and Sheri had a check list. No lithium and i was awakened at 6am taken down stairs to room 207. Peed again. Any gurney. There was 12 of them and each was taken with out patients too. The monitor things were attached and IV hand thing was loaded with something that warmed your hand and out. It was monday. I forgot who I was and such things. I was not depressed because the headache was issue. I had a similar issue when drunk, I wake up not knowing where I was and with a headache. Comparing these two is not good but for me it was kind of the same. Both are dangerous. I forget those two months of ect then one day I had enough pain. I said I can’t do it. I was not needing the pain. I also did that one day with drinking one day I had enough pain.  So I am out of painful issues in my life I find I sleep better on the floor. I got the idea from crocodile Dundee…